Thanks Angela! You are awesome! If anyone needs me tomorrow, I will be babysitting her kids. =)
Friday, December 12, 2008
I am such a neglectful mom!
While writing that last post, it was awfully quiet around here! I got an email from my neighbor with some pictures showing me that my kids were over there and what they were doing! I really need to not blog during the day!
Thanks Angela! You are awesome! If anyone needs me tomorrow, I will be babysitting her kids. =)
Thanks Angela! You are awesome! If anyone needs me tomorrow, I will be babysitting her kids. =)
Mommy's Bid for Freedom...
So my lucky friend is getting her basement finished...very great thing to be doing! But the poor girl has been on house arrest for the past month so that she can babysit contractors in her house all day. (Not going to leave some random guy in your house, free to rummage around and use your husband's bathrobe! Inside joke, sorry.) So anyway, we decided we needed to make a run for it last night...SEE YA!!!
The cost of freedom has always been great.
Before I left I thought, "Hey, I'll be a good mom and wife tonight and actually make dinner!" (this idea is becoming more and more novel around here. Directly proportional to my expanding hips.) =( So in a cheap attempt to make sure everyone ate enough to prevent the inevitable whining, "I'M HUNGRY! I didn't get much to eat!" I decided to make tons of little pancakes and we would have a pancake eating contest.
The kids gathered around the table in anticipation (also a novelty at the dinner table) and I put that stack in the center of the table. They dished up and all three of the boys decided to opt out of syrup. I asked, "Are you sure you don't want syrup?!"
"It will slow us down Mom!"
The contest started and the oldest folds his pancake up and shoves it in whole. Obviously been watching "Hurl" with Daddy again.
"NO BOYS!! We aren't RACING! Just keep track of how many you eat...you can take all night if you want!"
Little disclaimer...I had eaten very wisely all day and hadn't snacked...so I was really hungry. So Smiley was done at 3 and happy because he is 3. Everything is way cooler if you are that age. Bear was holding his hands over his mouth at 6 and just staring. We were telling him, "Stop eating!! You're going to puke!" He took our advice, sat back for a few, and then finished another half pancake so that he would beat Daddy. Spider-Man got to seven and said he was going to barf. I won....sniff sniff. In my defense, these were really small pancakes. So I would just like to thank my husband for not showing up to the competition and letting his wife waste him like that. Really good for the ego. Thanks Honey.
After we were done, the boys decide to wrestle. Yep, I'll bet you see the problem with this idea too. So I suggested that they play some Dead Dog instead.
"What's that mommy?"
"When you have eaten too much, you just lay around like dead dogs."
They thought this was an AWESOME game. The funny little guys decided that it is more accurate if you lay on your backs with your legs in the air. This is apparently the correct form for dead animals. And ever the mean big brothers, the two oldest were telling Smiley that he looked like a dead fish instead of a dead dog...which he was sad about. They worked it out though in boy-fashion and had fun. I went upstairs smiling to myself for my mommy awesomeness.
Then my friend and I made a break for it! We headed to the mall.
I have never remembered to do this, but apparently some people get new clothes for Christmas. We went into the Children's Place and they had sweaters 3 for $20!! I wouldn't have normally bought my boys sweaters, but they had been little snots for the most part of the day, so I got them. They think they are DYING if they have to wear a long-sleeve white shirt for church. I asked the cashier if that makes me a mean mom if I am buying them sweaters just to tick them off.
Poor girl probably peed a little laughing at that. =) (Good thing she thought I was kidding. Totally wasn't though.)
We went to Victoria's Secret to get a new bra. They are having an AWESOME sale on bras so we decided we would like to invite the girls back up for a visit. So the cute, skinny, blonde, stylish girl (hate her) asked if I know my size. Nope. We walked back to the dressing room area to measure. Now for any boys reading this, Ferris's head almost exploded when trying to think of what this might involve. It is a simple procedure involving a tape measure and no weirdness at all. This is even coming from a girl who is not so into touching anyone. Totally wouldn't have been weird...oh, except for the young guy just standing there waiting for his little girl friend to try on some bras. (I judge. I guess they could have been married...those little newly weds are looking younger and younger.) Anyway, I was kind of looking at him like, "So, you just going to hang out here for this?" Yep.
She finishes measuring and informs me of the damage. The number was a little higher then I am used to. Being the joker that I am, I tried to laugh it off and save my ego. "Does that mean I have like a chubby rib cage?"
"Um, yep. Yah."
Not even kidding. That was her response. Said in a way that made me want to pop her little head right off. Almost as if she knew that she had touched a soft spot, she then told me how they really don't have much selection in that size. =| Thanks. You're a sweet little puke.
Girl-trying-bras-on-with-boyfriend-there asked my opinion on which one. I recommended the red one with the scalloped edges...it's a bit more sassy. Also, let your mom know that you are bra shopping with A BOY!!!! The boy liked the other one. What the heck to boys know though...we vetoed him.
(For those of you still in shock that I would blog about my pathetic bra size, you obviously don't watch the People's Court and you probably missed the one where I told the judge that I hid an entire tape recorder in my bra. That is a whole different blog post.)
Off to Target! We wandered aimlessly for a long time, collecting random crap. Hopefully some of it will prove useful in the next few weeks. We headed home and watched The Office with hubbies....what Thursday night would be complete without that?!
Remember that "cost of freedom" comment? That all happens when the lights turn off and all is quiet.
Little Small Fry....
Pause! Time Out!
For the record, this whole "nickname" thing is retarded. I feel like the biggest idiot every time I write something about "Spider-Man" or "Bear"! Just sounds dumb. So if it is painful for you to read, remember that I feel your pain. It's always cooler when someone else is doing it...then I do it and it looks just plain dumb. Sorry.
Unpause!
Little Small-fry has always been such a great sleeper. This little 4.0 version of the Smith baby may be the perfected model! I put him to bed the other night at 8:30 PM. He got up at 6:30, drank a bottle and sweetly went back to sleep. I finally went in and poked him at 10:30 AM to see if he was alright. This is not a-typical. He has always been a great sleeper. Even at The Children's Place that night I say a cute little onesie that said "Silent Night...yah right" I smiled to myself thinking how cute and clever it was and how I would get it if it were true at all. (another inward smile to myself and a pleasant sigh)
So I crawl into bed at 1:00 AM (because I am an idiot) and then at 2:30 his crying finally pulls me out of my coma. I stumble down and get a bottle and then go in there and he is wedged in there kind of weird. (Remember those pleasant swaddling days? Gone. sniff sniff) His little head was wedged sort of weird, so I get him out of that and sit down to feed him. Literally I could not keep my head up. Then the little cute stink wakes up a bit and is staring at me like, "Oh, hey mommy. What are you doing in here." He didn't smile or anything, just stared at me and seemed to really wonder why I had gotten him up. I just stared back in a daze.
Back to bed and he was crying again at 6:30.
Why does life work like this? WHY do these things happen if you just tell someone he sleeps well? Happens every time! So if you ever ask me how my baby sleeps, I am going to tell you he sleeps like crap!! I promise to whine and lie and tell you he is up every couple hours.
That was the second night in a row he has done this. Tonight I might see if the Tylenol fixes the problem. =)
Is this wrong?
The cost of freedom has always been great.
Before I left I thought, "Hey, I'll be a good mom and wife tonight and actually make dinner!" (this idea is becoming more and more novel around here. Directly proportional to my expanding hips.) =( So in a cheap attempt to make sure everyone ate enough to prevent the inevitable whining, "I'M HUNGRY! I didn't get much to eat!" I decided to make tons of little pancakes and we would have a pancake eating contest.
The kids gathered around the table in anticipation (also a novelty at the dinner table) and I put that stack in the center of the table. They dished up and all three of the boys decided to opt out of syrup. I asked, "Are you sure you don't want syrup?!""It will slow us down Mom!"
The contest started and the oldest folds his pancake up and shoves it in whole. Obviously been watching "Hurl" with Daddy again.
"NO BOYS!! We aren't RACING! Just keep track of how many you eat...you can take all night if you want!"
Little disclaimer...I had eaten very wisely all day and hadn't snacked...so I was really hungry. So Smiley was done at 3 and happy because he is 3. Everything is way cooler if you are that age. Bear was holding his hands over his mouth at 6 and just staring. We were telling him, "Stop eating!! You're going to puke!" He took our advice, sat back for a few, and then finished another half pancake so that he would beat Daddy. Spider-Man got to seven and said he was going to barf. I won....sniff sniff. In my defense, these were really small pancakes. So I would just like to thank my husband for not showing up to the competition and letting his wife waste him like that. Really good for the ego. Thanks Honey.
After we were done, the boys decide to wrestle. Yep, I'll bet you see the problem with this idea too. So I suggested that they play some Dead Dog instead.
"What's that mommy?"
"When you have eaten too much, you just lay around like dead dogs."
They thought this was an AWESOME game. The funny little guys decided that it is more accurate if you lay on your backs with your legs in the air. This is apparently the correct form for dead animals. And ever the mean big brothers, the two oldest were telling Smiley that he looked like a dead fish instead of a dead dog...which he was sad about. They worked it out though in boy-fashion and had fun. I went upstairs smiling to myself for my mommy awesomeness.
Then my friend and I made a break for it! We headed to the mall.
I have never remembered to do this, but apparently some people get new clothes for Christmas. We went into the Children's Place and they had sweaters 3 for $20!! I wouldn't have normally bought my boys sweaters, but they had been little snots for the most part of the day, so I got them. They think they are DYING if they have to wear a long-sleeve white shirt for church. I asked the cashier if that makes me a mean mom if I am buying them sweaters just to tick them off.
Poor girl probably peed a little laughing at that. =) (Good thing she thought I was kidding. Totally wasn't though.)We went to Victoria's Secret to get a new bra. They are having an AWESOME sale on bras so we decided we would like to invite the girls back up for a visit. So the cute, skinny, blonde, stylish girl (hate her) asked if I know my size. Nope. We walked back to the dressing room area to measure. Now for any boys reading this, Ferris's head almost exploded when trying to think of what this might involve. It is a simple procedure involving a tape measure and no weirdness at all. This is even coming from a girl who is not so into touching anyone. Totally wouldn't have been weird...oh, except for the young guy just standing there waiting for his little girl friend to try on some bras. (I judge. I guess they could have been married...those little newly weds are looking younger and younger.) Anyway, I was kind of looking at him like, "So, you just going to hang out here for this?" Yep.
She finishes measuring and informs me of the damage. The number was a little higher then I am used to. Being the joker that I am, I tried to laugh it off and save my ego. "Does that mean I have like a chubby rib cage?"
"Um, yep. Yah."
Not even kidding. That was her response. Said in a way that made me want to pop her little head right off. Almost as if she knew that she had touched a soft spot, she then told me how they really don't have much selection in that size. =| Thanks. You're a sweet little puke.
Girl-trying-bras-on-with-boyfriend-there asked my opinion on which one. I recommended the red one with the scalloped edges...it's a bit more sassy. Also, let your mom know that you are bra shopping with A BOY!!!! The boy liked the other one. What the heck to boys know though...we vetoed him.
(For those of you still in shock that I would blog about my pathetic bra size, you obviously don't watch the People's Court and you probably missed the one where I told the judge that I hid an entire tape recorder in my bra. That is a whole different blog post.)
Off to Target! We wandered aimlessly for a long time, collecting random crap. Hopefully some of it will prove useful in the next few weeks. We headed home and watched The Office with hubbies....what Thursday night would be complete without that?!
Remember that "cost of freedom" comment? That all happens when the lights turn off and all is quiet.
Little Small Fry....
Pause! Time Out!
For the record, this whole "nickname" thing is retarded. I feel like the biggest idiot every time I write something about "Spider-Man" or "Bear"! Just sounds dumb. So if it is painful for you to read, remember that I feel your pain. It's always cooler when someone else is doing it...then I do it and it looks just plain dumb. Sorry.
Unpause!
Little Small-fry has always been such a great sleeper. This little 4.0 version of the Smith baby may be the perfected model! I put him to bed the other night at 8:30 PM. He got up at 6:30, drank a bottle and sweetly went back to sleep. I finally went in and poked him at 10:30 AM to see if he was alright. This is not a-typical. He has always been a great sleeper. Even at The Children's Place that night I say a cute little onesie that said "Silent Night...yah right" I smiled to myself thinking how cute and clever it was and how I would get it if it were true at all. (another inward smile to myself and a pleasant sigh)
So I crawl into bed at 1:00 AM (because I am an idiot) and then at 2:30 his crying finally pulls me out of my coma. I stumble down and get a bottle and then go in there and he is wedged in there kind of weird. (Remember those pleasant swaddling days? Gone. sniff sniff) His little head was wedged sort of weird, so I get him out of that and sit down to feed him. Literally I could not keep my head up. Then the little cute stink wakes up a bit and is staring at me like, "Oh, hey mommy. What are you doing in here." He didn't smile or anything, just stared at me and seemed to really wonder why I had gotten him up. I just stared back in a daze.
Back to bed and he was crying again at 6:30.
Why does life work like this? WHY do these things happen if you just tell someone he sleeps well? Happens every time! So if you ever ask me how my baby sleeps, I am going to tell you he sleeps like crap!! I promise to whine and lie and tell you he is up every couple hours.
That was the second night in a row he has done this. Tonight I might see if the Tylenol fixes the problem. =)
Is this wrong?
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
7 Things....
So remember when I said I was a blog retard? Well I got tagged on my friend's blog and I was all, "Um, so what does that mean? Am I suppose to do that now or something?" She was probably rolling her eyes when I asked her...but being the nerds that we are, we were on instant messenger so I can't see the eye roll. (I don't think either one of us know the short-cut symbols for those eye-rolling faces because we never seem to use those.) =)
Anyway, here I go on my first tag. I know...I am WAY cool!
7 Things About Me
Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. See all my kids grow up and make really good choices and always stay close to the church with their families.
2. Meet the Prophet.
3. Learn a new language.
4. See all of my boys serve honorable full-time missions.
5. Learn to ski.
6. Live out of the country for awhile so I can pick up a really cool accent. =) I know...important huh?! I just never knew that I would be making these huge life plans this morning while sitting on my couch! It really is huge!
7. Read CRAP loads of books. I have SO MANY on my list of ones I want to read.
Seven things I can do:
1. Do CPR. I used to be all sorts of certified in this. Haven't done the cert stuff in years, but you still stand a pretty good chance if you ever need CPR from me.
2. Say a few important lines in Thai, Portuguese, Spanish, and Pig-Latin. (Getting more and more limited as the years pass, but I used to be REALLY good at those few lines!) Oh, and a few Samoan cuss words.
3. Joke about ANYTHING. (not always a good thing. Sometimes it may come across as not taking things seriously, but not true. I am just that good...I can be totally serious about a subject and still plug in a good joke. Ok, good joke is debatable, but I can still try.)
4. I can wrap gifts like you wouldn't believe. Truly amazing. (totally humble, I know!) But for real, like Nordstrom's catalog, picture-perfect pretty wrapping jobs. I got it from my mom. Thanks mom!)
5. Do makeup really well. I used to think this was something that was pretty idiot proof and wasn't much of a talent, but after hearing everyone talk about how they have no clue how to do makeup and wish that they did, I realize that it might be something that not just anyone can do. Totally useful talent that will help me in all the Eternities...I know!
6. I can do math. Love it! Trig has always been a favorite. (nerd...I know)
7. Kick pretty much anyone's butts in Dr. Mario.
Seven things I can't do:
1. Walk in heels. I keep buying them hoping that I will learn, but then I get too scared to wear them anywhere. I am getting better though.
2. Take good pictures.
3. Get up and go to the gym in the morning.
4. Go without going to Disneyland at least yearly. (little traumatized right now...we are missing this year for the addition of Small Fry to our family. He is cute, but COME ON!!)
5. Remember my kids names and call them by the right name. Also got this one from Mom.
6. Do the splits. Never have been able to...no great hopes for the future.
7. Can't get my dogs to stop barking.
Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Tall, dark, and handsome.
2. He is a great dad.
3. Great singer.
4. Can change light bulbs without even standing on anything.
5. Puts up with all my trips and doesn't say anything about staying home and changing poopy diapers while I am off playing...I mean working...with the girls.
6. Has gotten very good at knowing when to compliment my makeup. And once in awhile his opinion on it is almost getting useful.
7. Speaks 3 languages. Surprisingly, pig-latin is not one of them. He is remarkably bad at that one.
Seven things I say most often:
1. No. (I'm sure this would be Spider-man's input if he were helping me. He is convinced that I say no all the time. At what age do I get to tell him, "I always say no because you always ask for dumb stuff."?)
2. Who peed all over the floor boys?!?!
3. I need a vacation.
4. Quit hitting!
5. Dog, don't lick the baby!!! SICK!!!!
6. I love you more!
7. Son of a BUCKET!!
Seven celebrities that I like:
Celebrities are lame. I love the Brad Paisley song about how reality has gone bye-bye for these crazies. I especially hate when they get political. So I will tell you which ones I like on the surface, but I take no responsibility if they are, have been, or turn out to be crap-bags.
1. Patrick Dempsey. (He has been married for a long time and loves the dad and husband thing. That is good in my book.) Not to mention that he is very very pretty to look at. =)
2. Hugh Jackman. (see comment above.)
3. Brooke Shields. Cute mom and she made Tom Cruise look like an idiot. What could be better.
4. Jennifer Garner. Cute mom.
5. Michael Vartan. Just plain pretty.
6. Matthew McConanughey. ahhhhh.
7. Christian Bale.
Wow...do you see that most of the list is because they are nice to look at. What does that say about how important they are. Not important at all...can totally be done without. Someday huh?
Seven favorite foods:
1. Lasagna
2. Dessert
3. A nice grilled steak.
4. Mexican
5. Candy
6. Whoppers (not the candy, the burger. The candy would be included under #5.) =)
7. Pulled Pork anything
Seven people that I tag:
1. Peggy
2. Rachel
3. Erica
4. Melinda
5. Kate
6. Emily
7. That's pretty much all the people that I know that may actually see this post and have a blog. =)
Anyway, here I go on my first tag. I know...I am WAY cool!
7 Things About Me
Seven things I want to do before I die:
1. See all my kids grow up and make really good choices and always stay close to the church with their families.
2. Meet the Prophet.
3. Learn a new language.
4. See all of my boys serve honorable full-time missions.
5. Learn to ski.
6. Live out of the country for awhile so I can pick up a really cool accent. =) I know...important huh?! I just never knew that I would be making these huge life plans this morning while sitting on my couch! It really is huge!
7. Read CRAP loads of books. I have SO MANY on my list of ones I want to read.
Seven things I can do:
1. Do CPR. I used to be all sorts of certified in this. Haven't done the cert stuff in years, but you still stand a pretty good chance if you ever need CPR from me.
2. Say a few important lines in Thai, Portuguese, Spanish, and Pig-Latin. (Getting more and more limited as the years pass, but I used to be REALLY good at those few lines!) Oh, and a few Samoan cuss words.
3. Joke about ANYTHING. (not always a good thing. Sometimes it may come across as not taking things seriously, but not true. I am just that good...I can be totally serious about a subject and still plug in a good joke. Ok, good joke is debatable, but I can still try.)
4. I can wrap gifts like you wouldn't believe. Truly amazing. (totally humble, I know!) But for real, like Nordstrom's catalog, picture-perfect pretty wrapping jobs. I got it from my mom. Thanks mom!)
5. Do makeup really well. I used to think this was something that was pretty idiot proof and wasn't much of a talent, but after hearing everyone talk about how they have no clue how to do makeup and wish that they did, I realize that it might be something that not just anyone can do. Totally useful talent that will help me in all the Eternities...I know!
6. I can do math. Love it! Trig has always been a favorite. (nerd...I know)
7. Kick pretty much anyone's butts in Dr. Mario.
Seven things I can't do:
1. Walk in heels. I keep buying them hoping that I will learn, but then I get too scared to wear them anywhere. I am getting better though.
2. Take good pictures.
3. Get up and go to the gym in the morning.
4. Go without going to Disneyland at least yearly. (little traumatized right now...we are missing this year for the addition of Small Fry to our family. He is cute, but COME ON!!)
5. Remember my kids names and call them by the right name. Also got this one from Mom.
6. Do the splits. Never have been able to...no great hopes for the future.
7. Can't get my dogs to stop barking.
Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
1. Tall, dark, and handsome.
2. He is a great dad.
3. Great singer.
4. Can change light bulbs without even standing on anything.
5. Puts up with all my trips and doesn't say anything about staying home and changing poopy diapers while I am off playing...I mean working...with the girls.
6. Has gotten very good at knowing when to compliment my makeup. And once in awhile his opinion on it is almost getting useful.
7. Speaks 3 languages. Surprisingly, pig-latin is not one of them. He is remarkably bad at that one.
Seven things I say most often:
1. No. (I'm sure this would be Spider-man's input if he were helping me. He is convinced that I say no all the time. At what age do I get to tell him, "I always say no because you always ask for dumb stuff."?)
2. Who peed all over the floor boys?!?!
3. I need a vacation.
4. Quit hitting!
5. Dog, don't lick the baby!!! SICK!!!!
6. I love you more!
7. Son of a BUCKET!!
Seven celebrities that I like:
Celebrities are lame. I love the Brad Paisley song about how reality has gone bye-bye for these crazies. I especially hate when they get political. So I will tell you which ones I like on the surface, but I take no responsibility if they are, have been, or turn out to be crap-bags.
1. Patrick Dempsey. (He has been married for a long time and loves the dad and husband thing. That is good in my book.) Not to mention that he is very very pretty to look at. =)
2. Hugh Jackman. (see comment above.)
3. Brooke Shields. Cute mom and she made Tom Cruise look like an idiot. What could be better.
4. Jennifer Garner. Cute mom.
5. Michael Vartan. Just plain pretty.
6. Matthew McConanughey. ahhhhh.
7. Christian Bale.
Wow...do you see that most of the list is because they are nice to look at. What does that say about how important they are. Not important at all...can totally be done without. Someday huh?
Seven favorite foods:
1. Lasagna
2. Dessert
3. A nice grilled steak.
4. Mexican
5. Candy
6. Whoppers (not the candy, the burger. The candy would be included under #5.) =)
7. Pulled Pork anything
Seven people that I tag:
1. Peggy
2. Rachel
3. Erica
4. Melinda
5. Kate
6. Emily
7. That's pretty much all the people that I know that may actually see this post and have a blog. =)
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Code Names!
I have really been bummed at the thought of going private with my blog. Really, what fun is that? So I decided I would opt for the "code name, no specific information" route. So I asked the kids what they wanted their "code names" to be. The oldest one was first...his little eyes lit up. He was all "THE TARANTULA MONSTER GROUP!!!!!"
(Eye roll)
"No buddy, a name for just you. We are not changing the name of the blog." (It is not like Smith isn't just as generic as any code name could be.
So he picked "Mr. Tarantula". I said ok, but I was going to shorten it to like MT or something. He then changed it to Spider Man. So don't think of the fun comic book hero when you read that. No no. Think of the nastiest, hairiest, scariest spider you can think of. That is what he wants to come to your mind. =)
#2 picked "Bear". He has a fetish for bears...it is really cute. He actually has a GREAT nick-name, but I don't want to use that either because I call him that more then his real name.
#3 got his picked for him. Smiley. Don't know if that is spelled correctly, but it is now. Really with names you can spell things however you want! If I wanted to use numbers and stuff I could. So how about Smquil4eeeey? Nobody can even comment anymore because that is just how name spelling is done in our world these days.
#4 got his chosen by #1. Small-fry. That brings up the issue though, do I hyphenate this name?
Then I yelled into dad about what name he wanted. Without a moment's hesitation he said, "Ferris!" Cool honey.
So I guess I will be Sydney. We have been watching all the seasons of Alias lately. =) I miss that show.
Crap. Bag that idea. I can't be Sydney...I have other work-related blogs that show me as an author and that is just plain confusing if it says Sydney.
Sigh...told you I missed Alias.
However, I am reminded of a very funny episode of The Office when Jim finds a screenplay that Michael has been writing about Secret Agent Michael Scarn. He had used Dwight as the bad-guy originally and then used the search and replace feature to change the name. But he had misspelled Dwight once so that didn't catch it. Dwight was totally ticked off...it was so dang funny!
Sure wish this blog had a search and replace feature. =S Oh, I guess I will be Pam. She's fun!
(Eye roll)
"No buddy, a name for just you. We are not changing the name of the blog." (It is not like Smith isn't just as generic as any code name could be.
So he picked "Mr. Tarantula". I said ok, but I was going to shorten it to like MT or something. He then changed it to Spider Man. So don't think of the fun comic book hero when you read that. No no. Think of the nastiest, hairiest, scariest spider you can think of. That is what he wants to come to your mind. =)
#2 picked "Bear". He has a fetish for bears...it is really cute. He actually has a GREAT nick-name, but I don't want to use that either because I call him that more then his real name.
#3 got his picked for him. Smiley. Don't know if that is spelled correctly, but it is now. Really with names you can spell things however you want! If I wanted to use numbers and stuff I could. So how about Smquil4eeeey? Nobody can even comment anymore because that is just how name spelling is done in our world these days.
#4 got his chosen by #1. Small-fry. That brings up the issue though, do I hyphenate this name?
Then I yelled into dad about what name he wanted. Without a moment's hesitation he said, "Ferris!" Cool honey.
So I guess I will be Sydney. We have been watching all the seasons of Alias lately. =) I miss that show.
Crap. Bag that idea. I can't be Sydney...I have other work-related blogs that show me as an author and that is just plain confusing if it says Sydney.
Sigh...told you I missed Alias.
However, I am reminded of a very funny episode of The Office when Jim finds a screenplay that Michael has been writing about Secret Agent Michael Scarn. He had used Dwight as the bad-guy originally and then used the search and replace feature to change the name. But he had misspelled Dwight once so that didn't catch it. Dwight was totally ticked off...it was so dang funny!
Sure wish this blog had a search and replace feature. =S Oh, I guess I will be Pam. She's fun!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Whose kids are these?!?!
When my babies are born people always try to figure out who they look like. I can see it in other's kids, but I don't know...maybe I am too close to the situation...but I can't see it in mine. My babies look to me like we could have found them in a random box at Walmart for how much they look like us! To this day, I can't see who Spider Man and Smiley look like. Bear is a little Ferris-clone. Small-Fry is a little Bear-clone thus far...so it is fair to assume that he will be a Ferris-clone too. (I was awesome at those proofs in Geometry, can you tell?! Remember, the things that say, "This angle is congruent to that angle...and that angle is equal to that one....therefore.... I know...nerd.)
ANYWAY...now that they are getting so much older, I may not be able to see who they all look like, but I can definitely pick out certain personality traits that belong to us parents all the way.
So in the great blogging tradition, and wasting time, lets break it down shall we? (for real, still in my pj's and have NO plans of changing today. And now that I have a laptop...my bum literally doesn't have to move all day. Except maybe to take care of kids and stuff like that.)
Let's start with Spider Man.
This kid is my emotional one. He tends to overreact to things, but he is way funny. So here goes.
1 - He wakes up at the crack of dawn and LOVES it. NOT MINE!! I don't know if Ferris loves mornings, but he does them a bit better then I do. I can talk myself out of ANYTHING if it involves getting out of my warm snuggly bed. I almost talked myself out of an early flight to Texas once just to sleep in!
2 - He LOVES school and gets WAY ticked off if he is sick and has to miss it. I pulled him out for a dentist appointment one day and he was flipping out that he was going to miss a bunch of school. Yep, like an hour and a half kid...suck it up! I LOVED when I got to leave school for any reason, and would do everything I could think of to prevent returning that day. Or the next day for that matter. So in that case, Not my genes!
3 - Curly hair and freckles: Mine. Sorry Spider Man.
4 - Hatred of milk...also from me. I got over it though for the most part. As long as it has left-over sugar from my cereal or plenty of chocolate then I like it. So I think he got that from me.
5 - Love of Crab. All mine (I am beaming with pride) For his birthday last year the kid wanted to go to Red Lobster. Sorry Chucky Cheese, you don't have snow crab. If he is really like me in this, it is more about the entertainment value of food. If it is fun to eat, I love it.
6 - Awesome spelling powers. From me. Although no one would know it now who has even been on instant messenger with me, I used to be AWESOME at spelling. Then they came out with spell check. It has been downhill ever since. But Spider Man has done amazing at spelling in school. Last week we lost his spelling list (that's right, because we are crappy parents!! Poor little first grader not only didn't get to practice, but he also had to endure parents losing his list, and then randomly quizzing him on any words we could find on any paper he has brought home. He was getting TICKED! "THAT'S NOT ONE OF MY WORDS!!" When asked what words he did have, "I DON'T REMEMBER!!" Sadly, he gets that from me too.) Anyway, the kid went to school and got 103% on his spelling test. =) =) The funny thing is, when I started singing a song about what a genuis he is, he got ticked. I asked him why and he said that he only got 103%. I was all "Yes, and?" To which he replied, "I wanted 105%!" That also is my boy. I always HATED when I missed out on that perfect score...I still hate that! It is like getting an A-....like tripping at the finish line!! (Even writing about it is getting me worked up. You know the little email type quizzes? If I don't score perfectly on those, I have to go back and redo it until it is perfect. I know...I am mental.) It is great that I passed on the calm, normal genes. (eye roll)
7 - Incredible whooing powers over the ladies. Got this one all from Ferris. He used to tell us in Kindergarten about all his showing off for the girl that he liked. I stared in horror as Ferris "coached him on how to play it cool." I think Dad thought it helped. So yesterday I was reading the next few days of the school lunch menu. He got excited over today's and said, "I'm definitely not taking home lunch tomorrow!" When I asked him why, he answered, "Because Cindy will ask to sit by me because I drink my Jello!" .... ....... ..... (suffering from TOTAL lack of response. Needless to say, he got this one from Ferris. Partly because of Ferris' former "coaching" and partly because he is not here to defend himself.)
8 - Love of reading...got this one from both of us. What can I say? We are a book-worm family.
9 - High-pitched scream. From me. Yah, I got it mom...very funny.
10 - Funny run. From neither of us, but Joel finally found the source of said funny run. Apparently there is a Transformer that puts his arms behind him, leans forward and runs. This technique makes him go super fast...so Spider Man thought he would apply the technique to his own personal run. It is actually really funny, but Dad had to talk him out of running like that at basketball.
Now "Bear". He is such a cutie! He is such a good brother! Out of all of the boys, he is by far the most interested in Small-fry. He will lay by him and talk to him, play little games and sing songs to the baby. So cute!
1 - His looks. This kid is ALL daddy's when it comes to looks. We were in California seeing some cousins of Ferris' that hadn't seen any of our kids. Bear got out of the van first and when the cousin saw him, he knew that was Ferris' boy, without even knowing it was us or our van. =) Good thing dad's so cute!
2 - His little temper. This kid is so mild most of the time. He is probably our most laid-back kid. However, if you push him long enough...the kid will SNAP! It is almost disturbing watching the craziness take over. According to dad, he gets that from him. He apparently had quite a little temper when he was younger...he totally grew out of it though. So in the meantime, if you are with Bear and he snaps like that...watch out.
3 - His incredible math skills. This one is all mine. =) =) =) I went to parent teacher conference and she was telling me about how he amazed her. She said they were carving pumpkin and counting the seeds. She said that he was the only one who came up with the idea that they didn't have to count all the seeds. They could each count 10 and then count by tens. She was blown away! Love it! All mine!
4 - This kid loves animals. Anything fluffy, he just loves. He is so tenderhearted and sweet. He has this white bear that he carries with him everywhere. This poor bear is so dirty and loved, but Bear gets sad if you say he is dirty. =) I am not sure who he got his love of animals from...both of us are like that a bit.
5 - He loves to sleep in. Mine. Ferris might like it, but he doesn't get to do it that much, so he is out of practice...so I get to claim this. Wish the others would take a lesson from him!
6 - He would much rather stay home then go to school. Also mine. I don't know how Ferris was, but I was always trying to get out of school. This little 5-year-old of mine actually faked sick one day to get out of preschool!! I was so shocked, and so proud I didn't know what emotion to feel! At least it was preschool and not really a big deal.
7 - All his cavities. Mine...sorry kiddo. I was always getting cavities filled as a kid. I still go to the same dentist and I actually admitted to him that when I was a kid I used to think he was just filling my teeth to get money from my mom. He got a big kick out of that one.
8 - He loves to sing. I wish I could claim that one...because I do love to sing to them. But Ferris is usually the one that does that with them at night. He is always singing good stuff to them. The other day Bear was totally horse and was singing "Praise to the Man" at the TOP of his lungs. I had to yell over him to stop it so that he didn't lose his voice completely.
9 - His powers of invincibility. This must be from a radioactive spider or something! The kid can totally smash into something, or biff it while running, or crash, etc with anything and just walk away. He has dented the sheetrock with his head before and hardly noticed! He is a bit clumsy, which is totally from me. I can be standing perfectly still and just fall off my shoe. For real...pretty pathetic. Or sometimes I will be walking through door-frames or around corners and just miss. And I fall down the steps at least twice a month. He isn't as bad as me, but he is a lot tougher then me.
10 - Dad's feet. They are cute on him. Let's hope that if we ever get a girl that she won't get them. =) He did get my ability to touch your nose with your tongue. So that is highly useful for him. Spider Man gets TICKED that he can't do it. =)
(this is what he does while mommy is blogging)
Time for Smiley. This kid is SO HAPPY all the time. His entire life he has had a big smile plastered on his face. He is such a fun little guy!
1 - His huge smile he got from me. I have always had this unfortunate talent of showing all my teeth at once. It is adorable on him though.
2 - Also got daddy's feet.
3 - His stubborness. Probably from both of us. Although, being our youngest and the smiley one for so long...he kind of got away with anything. Ok, who am I kidding...he gets away with everything. We have totally conditioned him to be stubborn until he gets exactly what he wants.
4 - Ferris said he got his cuteness from him. Sure. Whatever honey. (See item 1 under Bear's list.)
5 - He gets his great rhyming skills from me. I love to sing songs and just plug in different lyrics. I wouldn't have thought that was much of a talent, until I hear Ferris try to do it. Bless his heart, but he should just stick to the real lyrics of the song. Anyway, Smiley is very good at changing the words too. If you are ever really bored, just come on over...Smiley and I will write you a song. =)
I can't really write too much more about him...we are still watching his little personality traits developing. He is such a cutie though, it will be fun to see what else he does.
This is my seriously cute little Small-fry. I take full credit for him, even though he looks just like Ferris. He is so happy and smiley just like Smiley. He adores Bear and just smiles at his brothers thinking they are so neat...
...most of the time that is. Sometimes, like the rest of us, he just wonders if they are weird.
And there you have it...our gene pool. I think it is yielding some good results....but I may be saying that because they are sleeping peacefully in bed. Oh wait...I am not even kidding...the door just opened up there. Literally right after I typed that last line.
Cute. Bear just said, "Dad, you forgot to hug us and kiss us goodnight."
"No Bear, I did like an hour ago."
"Oh."
(eye roll mixed with a smile.)
ANYWAY...now that they are getting so much older, I may not be able to see who they all look like, but I can definitely pick out certain personality traits that belong to us parents all the way.
So in the great blogging tradition, and wasting time, lets break it down shall we? (for real, still in my pj's and have NO plans of changing today. And now that I have a laptop...my bum literally doesn't have to move all day. Except maybe to take care of kids and stuff like that.)
Let's start with Spider Man.
This kid is my emotional one. He tends to overreact to things, but he is way funny. So here goes.1 - He wakes up at the crack of dawn and LOVES it. NOT MINE!! I don't know if Ferris loves mornings, but he does them a bit better then I do. I can talk myself out of ANYTHING if it involves getting out of my warm snuggly bed. I almost talked myself out of an early flight to Texas once just to sleep in!
2 - He LOVES school and gets WAY ticked off if he is sick and has to miss it. I pulled him out for a dentist appointment one day and he was flipping out that he was going to miss a bunch of school. Yep, like an hour and a half kid...suck it up! I LOVED when I got to leave school for any reason, and would do everything I could think of to prevent returning that day. Or the next day for that matter. So in that case, Not my genes!
3 - Curly hair and freckles: Mine. Sorry Spider Man.
4 - Hatred of milk...also from me. I got over it though for the most part. As long as it has left-over sugar from my cereal or plenty of chocolate then I like it. So I think he got that from me.
5 - Love of Crab. All mine (I am beaming with pride) For his birthday last year the kid wanted to go to Red Lobster. Sorry Chucky Cheese, you don't have snow crab. If he is really like me in this, it is more about the entertainment value of food. If it is fun to eat, I love it.
6 - Awesome spelling powers. From me. Although no one would know it now who has even been on instant messenger with me, I used to be AWESOME at spelling. Then they came out with spell check. It has been downhill ever since. But Spider Man has done amazing at spelling in school. Last week we lost his spelling list (that's right, because we are crappy parents!! Poor little first grader not only didn't get to practice, but he also had to endure parents losing his list, and then randomly quizzing him on any words we could find on any paper he has brought home. He was getting TICKED! "THAT'S NOT ONE OF MY WORDS!!" When asked what words he did have, "I DON'T REMEMBER!!" Sadly, he gets that from me too.) Anyway, the kid went to school and got 103% on his spelling test. =) =) The funny thing is, when I started singing a song about what a genuis he is, he got ticked. I asked him why and he said that he only got 103%. I was all "Yes, and?" To which he replied, "I wanted 105%!" That also is my boy. I always HATED when I missed out on that perfect score...I still hate that! It is like getting an A-....like tripping at the finish line!! (Even writing about it is getting me worked up. You know the little email type quizzes? If I don't score perfectly on those, I have to go back and redo it until it is perfect. I know...I am mental.) It is great that I passed on the calm, normal genes. (eye roll)
7 - Incredible whooing powers over the ladies. Got this one all from Ferris. He used to tell us in Kindergarten about all his showing off for the girl that he liked. I stared in horror as Ferris "coached him on how to play it cool." I think Dad thought it helped. So yesterday I was reading the next few days of the school lunch menu. He got excited over today's and said, "I'm definitely not taking home lunch tomorrow!" When I asked him why, he answered, "Because Cindy will ask to sit by me because I drink my Jello!" .... ....... ..... (suffering from TOTAL lack of response. Needless to say, he got this one from Ferris. Partly because of Ferris' former "coaching" and partly because he is not here to defend himself.)
8 - Love of reading...got this one from both of us. What can I say? We are a book-worm family.
9 - High-pitched scream. From me. Yah, I got it mom...very funny.
10 - Funny run. From neither of us, but Joel finally found the source of said funny run. Apparently there is a Transformer that puts his arms behind him, leans forward and runs. This technique makes him go super fast...so Spider Man thought he would apply the technique to his own personal run. It is actually really funny, but Dad had to talk him out of running like that at basketball.
Now "Bear". He is such a cutie! He is such a good brother! Out of all of the boys, he is by far the most interested in Small-fry. He will lay by him and talk to him, play little games and sing songs to the baby. So cute!
1 - His looks. This kid is ALL daddy's when it comes to looks. We were in California seeing some cousins of Ferris' that hadn't seen any of our kids. Bear got out of the van first and when the cousin saw him, he knew that was Ferris' boy, without even knowing it was us or our van. =) Good thing dad's so cute!
2 - His little temper. This kid is so mild most of the time. He is probably our most laid-back kid. However, if you push him long enough...the kid will SNAP! It is almost disturbing watching the craziness take over. According to dad, he gets that from him. He apparently had quite a little temper when he was younger...he totally grew out of it though. So in the meantime, if you are with Bear and he snaps like that...watch out.
3 - His incredible math skills. This one is all mine. =) =) =) I went to parent teacher conference and she was telling me about how he amazed her. She said they were carving pumpkin and counting the seeds. She said that he was the only one who came up with the idea that they didn't have to count all the seeds. They could each count 10 and then count by tens. She was blown away! Love it! All mine!
4 - This kid loves animals. Anything fluffy, he just loves. He is so tenderhearted and sweet. He has this white bear that he carries with him everywhere. This poor bear is so dirty and loved, but Bear gets sad if you say he is dirty. =) I am not sure who he got his love of animals from...both of us are like that a bit.
5 - He loves to sleep in. Mine. Ferris might like it, but he doesn't get to do it that much, so he is out of practice...so I get to claim this. Wish the others would take a lesson from him!
6 - He would much rather stay home then go to school. Also mine. I don't know how Ferris was, but I was always trying to get out of school. This little 5-year-old of mine actually faked sick one day to get out of preschool!! I was so shocked, and so proud I didn't know what emotion to feel! At least it was preschool and not really a big deal.
7 - All his cavities. Mine...sorry kiddo. I was always getting cavities filled as a kid. I still go to the same dentist and I actually admitted to him that when I was a kid I used to think he was just filling my teeth to get money from my mom. He got a big kick out of that one.
8 - He loves to sing. I wish I could claim that one...because I do love to sing to them. But Ferris is usually the one that does that with them at night. He is always singing good stuff to them. The other day Bear was totally horse and was singing "Praise to the Man" at the TOP of his lungs. I had to yell over him to stop it so that he didn't lose his voice completely.
9 - His powers of invincibility. This must be from a radioactive spider or something! The kid can totally smash into something, or biff it while running, or crash, etc with anything and just walk away. He has dented the sheetrock with his head before and hardly noticed! He is a bit clumsy, which is totally from me. I can be standing perfectly still and just fall off my shoe. For real...pretty pathetic. Or sometimes I will be walking through door-frames or around corners and just miss. And I fall down the steps at least twice a month. He isn't as bad as me, but he is a lot tougher then me.
10 - Dad's feet. They are cute on him. Let's hope that if we ever get a girl that she won't get them. =) He did get my ability to touch your nose with your tongue. So that is highly useful for him. Spider Man gets TICKED that he can't do it. =)
(this is what he does while mommy is blogging)Time for Smiley. This kid is SO HAPPY all the time. His entire life he has had a big smile plastered on his face. He is such a fun little guy!
1 - His huge smile he got from me. I have always had this unfortunate talent of showing all my teeth at once. It is adorable on him though.
2 - Also got daddy's feet.
3 - His stubborness. Probably from both of us. Although, being our youngest and the smiley one for so long...he kind of got away with anything. Ok, who am I kidding...he gets away with everything. We have totally conditioned him to be stubborn until he gets exactly what he wants.
4 - Ferris said he got his cuteness from him. Sure. Whatever honey. (See item 1 under Bear's list.)
5 - He gets his great rhyming skills from me. I love to sing songs and just plug in different lyrics. I wouldn't have thought that was much of a talent, until I hear Ferris try to do it. Bless his heart, but he should just stick to the real lyrics of the song. Anyway, Smiley is very good at changing the words too. If you are ever really bored, just come on over...Smiley and I will write you a song. =)
I can't really write too much more about him...we are still watching his little personality traits developing. He is such a cutie though, it will be fun to see what else he does.
This is my seriously cute little Small-fry. I take full credit for him, even though he looks just like Ferris. He is so happy and smiley just like Smiley. He adores Bear and just smiles at his brothers thinking they are so neat...
...most of the time that is. Sometimes, like the rest of us, he just wonders if they are weird.And there you have it...our gene pool. I think it is yielding some good results....but I may be saying that because they are sleeping peacefully in bed. Oh wait...I am not even kidding...the door just opened up there. Literally right after I typed that last line.
Cute. Bear just said, "Dad, you forgot to hug us and kiss us goodnight."
"No Bear, I did like an hour ago."
"Oh."
(eye roll mixed with a smile.)
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Weird Smells
So I went to a Scentsy party the other day....you know, the candle warmer things? Seriously, if I wasn't so involved with Uppercase Living, I totally would have jumped on the Scentsy bandwagon. 
Anyway, at this party I spent way more then anyone really should on candles! But I am so excited because I got so many wonderful scents that are going to make my house smell blissful! Without them, my house just stinks!
Why does it stink? "Because she is crazy and has two dogs in her house!" I know that is what you are thinking...but NO. It is because I have 3 stinking boys that don't know how to pee into a freaking toilet!
The other day, while I was trying to close my eyes for like 2 seconds, one of them came in and said, "Mom, there is pee all over the toilet downstairs and I really need to go pee." They have no idea how fast this makes me CRAZY pissed off. First of all, who the heck pissed all over the toilet and WHY!?! Second, you are just going to stand there and pee anyway, so why do you care if there is pee on it in the first place.?! And third...we have 2 OTHER TOILETS!! GO PEE IN ONE OF THOSE AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR TWO FLIPPING SECONDS!!!
Ok....deep breath. So later, having forgotten all about said peeing incident, Smiley yells from the bathroom, "Mommy, I'm going poopies and I'm all done!" (just realized that I have NO idea how to spell poopies...and spell check just isn't being helpful for some reason.) So in the world of Smiley, you learn that when he says he is done, you dink around and wait for a few minutes, otherwise he will be back in there in like 20 minutes yelling the same thing. So I wait a bit.
"Mommy! I'm going poopies and I'm all done and I can't sit on the potty much longer!" So I am wondering what the crap he is talking about. (pun totally intended) I go in and my cute little 3 year old has lifted the lid and seat and sat on the rim, backwards. So his little bum is just centimeters away from that ice cold water. He is clinging for dear life on to the back of the seat.
So once I get past the GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSSNESS of the situation, I see the humor in it. If I would have had my cell phone on me, I would have taken a picture of said situation. But I didn't...bummer for you.
So I get him off and want to Clorox wipe his entire backside....don't worry, I didn't. Used hand sanitizer instead. So then I cleaned the toilet and all around it. SICK AND FREAKING WRONG!!! Do they have like 10 foot hoses? How does a little boy get pee that far behind on the freaking wall?! Seriously, I used to work at a pet store...I have seen some sick stuff in my time. But this was WAY worse then any dead decaying fish stories I could ever come up with. But I got it all cleaned up. We have just started buying the Clorox wipes from Costco...you know the pack with 4 bigs containers of them? Yep, we buy 2 of those 4-packs. (grrrrrrr)
The bathroom reeked and right when I was done, peace was restored and the house smelled totally fine.
So in case you are sitting there thinking, "Hey psycho, clean your freaking toilets more often!" let me defend myself. I CLEAN THEM LIKE EVERY FREAKING DAY!!! I do it while I am on the phone. If you have called me in the middle of the day, you have been present for one of these cleaning...I probably didn't tell you that was what I was doing, but I was. I have somehow managed to accomplish 2 goals at once...that is the cleanest/dirtiest/cleanest/dirtiest/cleanest...... toilets in existence. Bear will wait until the last freaking moment to pee...run in there at top speed and lift the lid and drop the pants in once split second movement and be peeing the next millisecond. Not so helpful in the aiming department. Oh, and then he will actually talk to you if you are in there and look over at you. He gets yelled at then for not watching what he is doing! Smiley has actually listened to Mom (SHOCKER) and now sits backwards. (I would highly recommend this for small boys. Who am I kidding. I would highly recommend this for all boys)
So why do I tell you all this? To make you want to visit my house and use my bathroom? Nope. To make you want to invite my boys over to pee in your bathroom? Nope. I tell this story so that you won't come to my house and blame my poor little puppies. They are amazing and never have accidents in the house. I can't even remember the last time! (except a teeny tiny bit of pee when Matt comes over. But we have learned to have Wicket be greeted on my front porch. So don't stand there without socks, ok? Yep, that dog is a bit retarded.) Anyway, when you walk in and think it smells weird...that is my kids.
And the spots on the carpet, also the kids. They think it is ok to carry things like rootbeer and other crap into the living room. Or to stomp around in muddy boots until they find mom.
So don't blame the fuzzy, cute little dogs. Sure they bark, and are freaking annoying in general....but they don't stink. If they stink when you pet them, it is only because we put them in the bathroom while we are gone, and the kid smell probably sticks to their fur!
So if you come to my house, call ahead. I will make sure the toilet is clean, the Scentsy Candle is smelling wonderful, and that the dogs are put away.
It might almost pass for a nice peaceful home.
Oh, and a funny side note...I totally found the Walmart Toy Catalog that came in the mail in front of the toilet the other day. So one of my boys was reading on the can. Hilarious! I was laughing my head off and rolling my eyes that it is starting so young. Like father like son.
This is Ferris' favorite commercial ever: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/28095/true_soccer_lover/
Sorry to vent about pee. And pee smells. And bad aiming. It is all I can do from going crazy. I am the only one in this house that can't pee in that area behind the toilet, and yet I get to clean it almost daily. Life isn't fair.
If you see one of these in my yard, you will know that I have finally snapped!!
Don't worry, my cute little non-stinky dogs will do that for you too.
Anyway, at this party I spent way more then anyone really should on candles! But I am so excited because I got so many wonderful scents that are going to make my house smell blissful! Without them, my house just stinks!Why does it stink? "Because she is crazy and has two dogs in her house!" I know that is what you are thinking...but NO. It is because I have 3 stinking boys that don't know how to pee into a freaking toilet!
The other day, while I was trying to close my eyes for like 2 seconds, one of them came in and said, "Mom, there is pee all over the toilet downstairs and I really need to go pee." They have no idea how fast this makes me CRAZY pissed off. First of all, who the heck pissed all over the toilet and WHY!?! Second, you are just going to stand there and pee anyway, so why do you care if there is pee on it in the first place.?! And third...we have 2 OTHER TOILETS!! GO PEE IN ONE OF THOSE AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR TWO FLIPPING SECONDS!!!
Ok....deep breath. So later, having forgotten all about said peeing incident, Smiley yells from the bathroom, "Mommy, I'm going poopies and I'm all done!" (just realized that I have NO idea how to spell poopies...and spell check just isn't being helpful for some reason.) So in the world of Smiley, you learn that when he says he is done, you dink around and wait for a few minutes, otherwise he will be back in there in like 20 minutes yelling the same thing. So I wait a bit.
"Mommy! I'm going poopies and I'm all done and I can't sit on the potty much longer!" So I am wondering what the crap he is talking about. (pun totally intended) I go in and my cute little 3 year old has lifted the lid and seat and sat on the rim, backwards. So his little bum is just centimeters away from that ice cold water. He is clinging for dear life on to the back of the seat.
So once I get past the GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSSNESS of the situation, I see the humor in it. If I would have had my cell phone on me, I would have taken a picture of said situation. But I didn't...bummer for you.
So I get him off and want to Clorox wipe his entire backside....don't worry, I didn't. Used hand sanitizer instead. So then I cleaned the toilet and all around it. SICK AND FREAKING WRONG!!! Do they have like 10 foot hoses? How does a little boy get pee that far behind on the freaking wall?! Seriously, I used to work at a pet store...I have seen some sick stuff in my time. But this was WAY worse then any dead decaying fish stories I could ever come up with. But I got it all cleaned up. We have just started buying the Clorox wipes from Costco...you know the pack with 4 bigs containers of them? Yep, we buy 2 of those 4-packs. (grrrrrrr)
The bathroom reeked and right when I was done, peace was restored and the house smelled totally fine.
So in case you are sitting there thinking, "Hey psycho, clean your freaking toilets more often!" let me defend myself. I CLEAN THEM LIKE EVERY FREAKING DAY!!! I do it while I am on the phone. If you have called me in the middle of the day, you have been present for one of these cleaning...I probably didn't tell you that was what I was doing, but I was. I have somehow managed to accomplish 2 goals at once...that is the cleanest/dirtiest/cleanest/dirtiest/cleanest...... toilets in existence. Bear will wait until the last freaking moment to pee...run in there at top speed and lift the lid and drop the pants in once split second movement and be peeing the next millisecond. Not so helpful in the aiming department. Oh, and then he will actually talk to you if you are in there and look over at you. He gets yelled at then for not watching what he is doing! Smiley has actually listened to Mom (SHOCKER) and now sits backwards. (I would highly recommend this for small boys. Who am I kidding. I would highly recommend this for all boys)
So why do I tell you all this? To make you want to visit my house and use my bathroom? Nope. To make you want to invite my boys over to pee in your bathroom? Nope. I tell this story so that you won't come to my house and blame my poor little puppies. They are amazing and never have accidents in the house. I can't even remember the last time! (except a teeny tiny bit of pee when Matt comes over. But we have learned to have Wicket be greeted on my front porch. So don't stand there without socks, ok? Yep, that dog is a bit retarded.) Anyway, when you walk in and think it smells weird...that is my kids.
And the spots on the carpet, also the kids. They think it is ok to carry things like rootbeer and other crap into the living room. Or to stomp around in muddy boots until they find mom.So don't blame the fuzzy, cute little dogs. Sure they bark, and are freaking annoying in general....but they don't stink. If they stink when you pet them, it is only because we put them in the bathroom while we are gone, and the kid smell probably sticks to their fur!
So if you come to my house, call ahead. I will make sure the toilet is clean, the Scentsy Candle is smelling wonderful, and that the dogs are put away.
It might almost pass for a nice peaceful home.
Oh, and a funny side note...I totally found the Walmart Toy Catalog that came in the mail in front of the toilet the other day. So one of my boys was reading on the can. Hilarious! I was laughing my head off and rolling my eyes that it is starting so young. Like father like son.
This is Ferris' favorite commercial ever: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/28095/true_soccer_lover/
Sorry to vent about pee. And pee smells. And bad aiming. It is all I can do from going crazy. I am the only one in this house that can't pee in that area behind the toilet, and yet I get to clean it almost daily. Life isn't fair.
If you see one of these in my yard, you will know that I have finally snapped!!
Don't worry, my cute little non-stinky dogs will do that for you too.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Totally freaky...
I just heard the yuckiest story about someone's cute picture from their blog being stolen and used for crazy Nazi images! So in lieu of that, I have decided to make this blog private. So I will be making it private at the end of November, so let me know if you want an invite to it. :)
I am still amazed that more then just my mom and maybe one other person even reads it! It is kind of a fun little outlet for me, and I got thinking today about something useful. (it happens from time to time.) There was a house fire this morning not too far from here. It made me start thinking about what I would do in that situation. Saving pictures sounds great, but with 4 small children and two dogs, I doubt that would even be in the thought process. Then it dawned on me, that anything I put on this would be safe (as long as Blogspot is fine.) I can imagine that it would be a huge relief if I lost all our other pictures to have a few on here.
So that rationalizes all the time I have spent doing this. :)
The boys just came in while I was typing this and are asking for hot chocolate. They have been out for a total of 10 minutes, and it's not even that cold out there! So the 3-year-old is coming up the stairs going, "mommy, it's as cold as the antarctic!" He isn't spoon fed stuff by his brothers at all, is he?
And then Bear just came in pajamas. It is 3:24. Guess it will be an early bedtime tonight....which is great because it is Thursday night...which means.....
I freaking love Thursday nights! Oh, and let's not forget about....
Dang...that picture is no fun! Let's try that again...
Ahhhhh. So much better. He's just pretty isn't he? And yes Larry, in my world, he is a real doctor. And dang, that would make a brain tumor a heck of a lot more enjoyable!
(Somehow I don't think that if my house burnt down I would really care that this picture is on this blog. I have some priorities straight! After all...I can find this picture online again!)
LOVE YOU FERRIS!!!!! (he's probably rolling his eyes in pain right now.) :)
I am still amazed that more then just my mom and maybe one other person even reads it! It is kind of a fun little outlet for me, and I got thinking today about something useful. (it happens from time to time.) There was a house fire this morning not too far from here. It made me start thinking about what I would do in that situation. Saving pictures sounds great, but with 4 small children and two dogs, I doubt that would even be in the thought process. Then it dawned on me, that anything I put on this would be safe (as long as Blogspot is fine.) I can imagine that it would be a huge relief if I lost all our other pictures to have a few on here.
So that rationalizes all the time I have spent doing this. :)
The boys just came in while I was typing this and are asking for hot chocolate. They have been out for a total of 10 minutes, and it's not even that cold out there! So the 3-year-old is coming up the stairs going, "mommy, it's as cold as the antarctic!" He isn't spoon fed stuff by his brothers at all, is he?
And then Bear just came in pajamas. It is 3:24. Guess it will be an early bedtime tonight....which is great because it is Thursday night...which means.....
I freaking love Thursday nights! Oh, and let's not forget about....Dang...that picture is no fun! Let's try that again...
Ahhhhh. So much better. He's just pretty isn't he? And yes Larry, in my world, he is a real doctor. And dang, that would make a brain tumor a heck of a lot more enjoyable!(Somehow I don't think that if my house burnt down I would really care that this picture is on this blog. I have some priorities straight! After all...I can find this picture online again!)
LOVE YOU FERRIS!!!!! (he's probably rolling his eyes in pain right now.) :)
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Update
I forgot to keep you posted about the Barbies! I found one the next day.
Nathan, being the sweet one, gave the other one to the little neighbor girl. The same girl who's favorite umbrella Dallin broke right after. He will be buying her a new one instead of spending his money on a Transformer. The kid's teeth are falling out of his head so fast that he is becoming a rich man.
Good thing he is too young to pay taxes to our soon-to-be socialist government. I would think Tooth Fairy money won't be safe for too long though. It will be like the Sheriff of Nottingham on the Disney cartoon...you know when he throws a coin in Robin Hood's little collection cup and it bounces back out with all the other coins...then he just takes them all.
Not funny, sorry. I just feel like ranting about politics right now. Maybe I will get on tomorrow and delete this part.
Maybe not.
Nathan, being the sweet one, gave the other one to the little neighbor girl. The same girl who's favorite umbrella Dallin broke right after. He will be buying her a new one instead of spending his money on a Transformer. The kid's teeth are falling out of his head so fast that he is becoming a rich man.
Good thing he is too young to pay taxes to our soon-to-be socialist government. I would think Tooth Fairy money won't be safe for too long though. It will be like the Sheriff of Nottingham on the Disney cartoon...you know when he throws a coin in Robin Hood's little collection cup and it bounces back out with all the other coins...then he just takes them all.
Not funny, sorry. I just feel like ranting about politics right now. Maybe I will get on tomorrow and delete this part.
Maybe not.
Spider Man's 7th Birthday!!
The big spider guy turned the big 7 a month ago! (yep, I am that behind) He was SO excited for his birthday and had all these grand plans. Unfortunately the day didn't really go as planned.
First off, he wanted mom to come eat lunch at school with him. So I did, and it was a bit different then I remember. I paid for an adult lunch...got the exact same stuff as all the kids. They let them choose what they want to drink and where they want to sit now! When I was in elementary you got milk. Period. If it was a holiday that you were stuck at school for, they gave you chocolate milk.
It was weird to have my little first grader telling me how to do things. The other boys came along of course, and they were so excited to eat school lunch. Paid for their's too...they ate like nothing.
After we were done eating this kid was wheeling by this big trash can, so I stuck my stuff in there. He just stared at me like I was an idiot. He goes, "You aren't suppose to throw the trays away. They go over there to the window, but I will take it for you." (all while glaring at me.) How was I suppose to know that the styrofoam trays are kept, but all the styrofoam cups for the soup go in the trash. What are they doing with these styrofoam trays? Recycling them? Why not recycle the other stuff like that? Or have they somehow managed to learn how to clean them? And if they clean them, wouldn't it be just as good to use the plastic type that we had to use? It really makes no sense to me. Maybe the reason that they don't use the plastic ones anymore is so that when kids drop them, they don't make that horribly loud sound that is very embarrassing for the kid. I saw one girl drop her tray and the poor kid had to just deal with it herself, because now the adults in the room have no idea that some little first-grader needs help.
Anyway, back to the birthday. After school, Spidey really wanted to go to the pumpkin patch. (shocker) Ferris couldn't take the day off though, so I was trying to entertain them until Dad got home. I took them to the park with a few of the neighbors and they had fun. Then Dad got home and we were going to head. Oh, I forgot to make Spider Man's choice of dinner...and I forgot to order a cake. I suck.
So we drive 20 minutes to get to the pumpkin patch that has the tractor ride and yummy donuts....it's closed! I totally didn't think to call ahead...which is ironic because then we started to remember something like that happening last year for his birthday too!
Trying to appease the kids, we took them to Macey's and let them each pick out a pumpkin. Then, because the evening had taken so long we didn't have time for shakes, and we had to hurry and open gifts before his friend had to go home. So some of his gifts were carefully wrapped in plastic. Plastic shopping bags that is. He thought it was cool, so that is good. (I suck.)
(of course it's not real...do you think I have lost my mind? It is remote control, which is disturbing enough. The dog LOVES it! No, he tries to attack it.)
Ok, lest you think we are total piles of crap, we had a makeup birthday weekend. We went back to the pumpkin patch and the boys had a great time.
5 little pumkins sitting on a gate
The first one said, "Hey mom, do I look great?!"
The second one said, "Daddy, can I get three?"
The third one said, "I really have to pee!"
The forth one said, "I get a tiny one?"
The fifth one said, "Boy, I'm having fun!"
So home went the Smith's
and went right to bed
and the 5 little pumpkins
slept like the dead.
First off, he wanted mom to come eat lunch at school with him. So I did, and it was a bit different then I remember. I paid for an adult lunch...got the exact same stuff as all the kids. They let them choose what they want to drink and where they want to sit now! When I was in elementary you got milk. Period. If it was a holiday that you were stuck at school for, they gave you chocolate milk.
It was weird to have my little first grader telling me how to do things. The other boys came along of course, and they were so excited to eat school lunch. Paid for their's too...they ate like nothing.
After we were done eating this kid was wheeling by this big trash can, so I stuck my stuff in there. He just stared at me like I was an idiot. He goes, "You aren't suppose to throw the trays away. They go over there to the window, but I will take it for you." (all while glaring at me.) How was I suppose to know that the styrofoam trays are kept, but all the styrofoam cups for the soup go in the trash. What are they doing with these styrofoam trays? Recycling them? Why not recycle the other stuff like that? Or have they somehow managed to learn how to clean them? And if they clean them, wouldn't it be just as good to use the plastic type that we had to use? It really makes no sense to me. Maybe the reason that they don't use the plastic ones anymore is so that when kids drop them, they don't make that horribly loud sound that is very embarrassing for the kid. I saw one girl drop her tray and the poor kid had to just deal with it herself, because now the adults in the room have no idea that some little first-grader needs help.
Anyway, back to the birthday. After school, Spidey really wanted to go to the pumpkin patch. (shocker) Ferris couldn't take the day off though, so I was trying to entertain them until Dad got home. I took them to the park with a few of the neighbors and they had fun. Then Dad got home and we were going to head. Oh, I forgot to make Spider Man's choice of dinner...and I forgot to order a cake. I suck.
So we drive 20 minutes to get to the pumpkin patch that has the tractor ride and yummy donuts....it's closed! I totally didn't think to call ahead...which is ironic because then we started to remember something like that happening last year for his birthday too!
Trying to appease the kids, we took them to Macey's and let them each pick out a pumpkin. Then, because the evening had taken so long we didn't have time for shakes, and we had to hurry and open gifts before his friend had to go home. So some of his gifts were carefully wrapped in plastic. Plastic shopping bags that is. He thought it was cool, so that is good. (I suck.)
(of course it's not real...do you think I have lost my mind? It is remote control, which is disturbing enough. The dog LOVES it! No, he tries to attack it.)
5 little pumkins sitting on a gate
The first one said, "Hey mom, do I look great?!"
The second one said, "Daddy, can I get three?"
The third one said, "I really have to pee!"
The forth one said, "I get a tiny one?"
The fifth one said, "Boy, I'm having fun!"So home went the Smith's
and went right to bed
and the 5 little pumpkins
slept like the dead.
Ok, I could have been more creative with the last part, but I have a very helpful, very pesky 3-year-old on my lap.
(I specialize in long blog posts huh? Too bad, because I am not done yet.)
We had cake and ice cream at Grandma Smith's house. Oh, wait...I forgot ice cream...so we ate homemade cake because again, I forgot to order one. I did take him to Macey's earlier in the week and let him pick one out though...so that was extra nice of me to get him excited for it and then not do it.
I can't believe I have a 7-year-old!!
(I specialize in long blog posts huh? Too bad, because I am not done yet.)
We had cake and ice cream at Grandma Smith's house. Oh, wait...I forgot ice cream...so we ate homemade cake because again, I forgot to order one. I did take him to Macey's earlier in the week and let him pick one out though...so that was extra nice of me to get him excited for it and then not do it.
I can't believe I have a 7-year-old!!Monday, November 3, 2008
To the polls...
Discussing politics is SOOOO much funner with kids then with adults. (that's right, I just wrote 'funner') So tonight we were mentioning voting tomorrow, and the boys wanted to know a bit more about it. In school I think they have tried to make them aware of things going on in the world. So they asked who we are voting for. We told them that we would be voting for Senator John McCain. Then they asked who else was in it, so we told them that Barack Obama was the other guy, and Nathan said something about picking him. This was a reaction, of course, to us saying that we were voting for the other guy...gotta pick the one that mom and dad didn't choose. So we go, "No, we aren't going to vote for him...he isn't a very good person."
The kids asked, "Why is he not good?"
We told them very nicely that he just doesn't believe in a lot of the same things that we do.
So then sweet little Bear says, in a very serious tone, "Daddy, you mean, does he not believe in Santa Claus?"
Man I wish politics were that cut and dry. How do you tell a 5-year-old that the man believes in killing babies while they are moving around in their mommy's tummies? Or that he is a socialist pile of crap who is not proud of his country? Or any of the other wonderful qualities of said politician?
Do we agree with everything that McCain does? No. But we certainly will support him over the very scary alternative.
Figured we would leave that out of the explanation for the 5-year-old.
The kids asked, "Why is he not good?"
We told them very nicely that he just doesn't believe in a lot of the same things that we do.
So then sweet little Bear says, in a very serious tone, "Daddy, you mean, does he not believe in Santa Claus?"
Man I wish politics were that cut and dry. How do you tell a 5-year-old that the man believes in killing babies while they are moving around in their mommy's tummies? Or that he is a socialist pile of crap who is not proud of his country? Or any of the other wonderful qualities of said politician?
Do we agree with everything that McCain does? No. But we certainly will support him over the very scary alternative.
Figured we would leave that out of the explanation for the 5-year-old.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Are you wondering, "What the heck?! Pammy has a Barbie on her blog!! That sure doesn't belong there!" I know...never thought I would get to put a picture of Barbie on my blog. I happen to have the funniest story ever to go with it though.Last night I had an Uppercase Living open house to go to, so that left Dad in charge of dinner. What does that mean? McDonald's. Of course. So my kids love Happy Meals. Who doesn't really? McDonald's for some reason always has gender specific toys, which in today's world doesn't seem like it would be politically correct...but oh well, who cares. So Ferris orders their food and tells them that the 3 Happy Meals are all for boys.
They get home to eat their food and what do you think has happened? Yep, the ever impressive staff at McDonald's has now ruined the evening for an otherwise sane father. Ian gets his toy out and it is a matchbox car. Boring, but boyish. So then Spider Man and Bear get theirs out...you guessed it. Pretty little Barbie dolls. (seriously wish I would have been home for this.) Spider Man CHUCKED his across the room and shook his fist to the heavens and yelled, "CURSE YOU MCDONALD'S!!!" (Ferris was trying his very best to not laugh his head off at his boy's dilemma. I would have been in tears laughing.) Bear was sicked out by his and was all ticked off. Ian was happy as a clam for being the only one to get a boy toy. (that's right...I just typed "boy toy" on my blog.)
Spider Man and Bear spent the rest of the meal swearing (yelling) to never go to McDonald's again, and what they were going to do to their Barbies today. They were asking Dad if they "can DESTROY the Barbies tomorrow?"
So thank you McDonald's staff! Now I can go for 2 flipping weeks without being nagged to go to McDonald's!! Who needs a little sister to provide innocent Barbies to pick on when you have those upstanding people at McDonald's to help you out?
I will keep you posted about the destruction of said Barbies. The amateurs probably don't know how to do it. They could just feed it to the dog...she would make quick of work of them. Poor pretty little Barbies.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Greatest Art Form
The art of swaddling is as old as time. Women, being the innovative thinks that we are, discovered early on that the swaddle is a soother to infants. We even hear about it in biblical times...every Christmas we are reminded that Mary wrapped baby Jesus in swaddling clothes.
The tradition has been passed down through generations of time, perhaps from mother to daughter as we teach our little girls how to wrap their baby dolls in blankets. Or, in my case, passed along to us exhausted new parents by those saintly nurses in the mother/baby section of the hospital. (come on, you didn't really think I played with dolls did you?! If you did, let me introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Pammy...have we met?!")
Being back in the swaddling trenches again with my 4th baby, I have made some observations. This is not rocket science by any means. I started thinking about all the different facets of swaddling one night when Small-fry got up way before he normally did. I went in there and he was cold and awake. His blankets were down by his feet in a pile. Not even a former-swaddled-blanket-pile. Just a unrecognizable lump by his feet. His feet were all cold and he was so happy to see mommy. (to say someone is cold around here is really saying something. I have babysitters that bring jackets with them in the middle of July!)
(Actual reenactment of Daddy's awesome swaddling job...the aftermath anyway.)
So as I took care of the baby, I sat there thinking of how many ways to tease Ferris in the morning, because of course, he had been to one to put Small-fry to sleep. Nothing against him, it is simply because he just doesn't get as much practice as mommy. Just like I will NEVER be able to compete with the nurses in the nursery of the hospital. Those babies are wrapped so perfectly every single time, it ought to be part of the application process for hiring nurses!
So let us break down the swaddling technique, using my baby for the test subject. (I know, not really a controlled group of test subjects...but who is really going to let me come practice wrapping their babies up really tight and then take pictures while laughing?! I totally have been laughing my head off too while taking pictures. Sure wish I could put thought bubbles above the baby's head in the pictures. His face is classic as he is watching the breakdown of mommy's sanity!)
Step 1: Fold the top corned down of a fairly large blanket. (we will not be using smaller receiving blankets because those will only hold a 4-month-old for like 2.6 seconds. They are far more wiggly then a newborn. Size specifications are a whole different blog post...and not nearly as entertaining.)
Step 2: Place baby in center of fold, with the top of the blanket right about ear level. If baby is placed too high on the blanket, then he can just pop right of the top of the swaddle. (Just observe the 'innocent' expression. Don't let it fool you. He knows that if mom makes that error, he will be out with his arms free in under 2 minutes. He always hopes anyway though.)
Step 3: Wrap one side of the blanket snuggly around baby. Make sure you don't leave a big lump of folded blankets under his back. Roll him on his side and make sure edge of blanket is all the way wrapped and the edge is resting flatly under other side. (doesn't make sense? that is fine, because nobody's really using these directions anyway! )
Step 4: Roll baby back onto his back. Baby cannot sleep on his side.
(Thought bubble: "Um, Mom? What are we doing?")
(Notice picture is blurry...this is due to me using a wiggly, wide awake baby. This step and all future steps is best performed on a much sleepier baby.) =)
Step 6: Wrap last corner over baby, keeping blanket free from the baby's face (it was the camera angle! I didn't swaddle his mouth!) Make sure again that there are no bumps or big folds under the baby. I have had many early wake-ups due to lumps behind the baby's back!
("Seriously Mommy, what are you doing?")
Step 7: Roll baby back to their back. (Do you think if I forgot this step someone would forget to roll them back? Probably not huh.?)
("Hey, wait a minute Mommy, I just woke up... Are you being serious?")
If done correctly, you might actually be able to fool him into thinking he is actually still tired.
("Was I still sleeping? Maybe I am still tired.... yawn....)
The tradition has been passed down through generations of time, perhaps from mother to daughter as we teach our little girls how to wrap their baby dolls in blankets. Or, in my case, passed along to us exhausted new parents by those saintly nurses in the mother/baby section of the hospital. (come on, you didn't really think I played with dolls did you?! If you did, let me introduce myself. "Hi, I'm Pammy...have we met?!")
Being back in the swaddling trenches again with my 4th baby, I have made some observations. This is not rocket science by any means. I started thinking about all the different facets of swaddling one night when Small-fry got up way before he normally did. I went in there and he was cold and awake. His blankets were down by his feet in a pile. Not even a former-swaddled-blanket-pile. Just a unrecognizable lump by his feet. His feet were all cold and he was so happy to see mommy. (to say someone is cold around here is really saying something. I have babysitters that bring jackets with them in the middle of July!)
(Actual reenactment of Daddy's awesome swaddling job...the aftermath anyway.)
So as I took care of the baby, I sat there thinking of how many ways to tease Ferris in the morning, because of course, he had been to one to put Small-fry to sleep. Nothing against him, it is simply because he just doesn't get as much practice as mommy. Just like I will NEVER be able to compete with the nurses in the nursery of the hospital. Those babies are wrapped so perfectly every single time, it ought to be part of the application process for hiring nurses!
So let us break down the swaddling technique, using my baby for the test subject. (I know, not really a controlled group of test subjects...but who is really going to let me come practice wrapping their babies up really tight and then take pictures while laughing?! I totally have been laughing my head off too while taking pictures. Sure wish I could put thought bubbles above the baby's head in the pictures. His face is classic as he is watching the breakdown of mommy's sanity!)
Step 1: Fold the top corned down of a fairly large blanket. (we will not be using smaller receiving blankets because those will only hold a 4-month-old for like 2.6 seconds. They are far more wiggly then a newborn. Size specifications are a whole different blog post...and not nearly as entertaining.)
Step 2: Place baby in center of fold, with the top of the blanket right about ear level. If baby is placed too high on the blanket, then he can just pop right of the top of the swaddle. (Just observe the 'innocent' expression. Don't let it fool you. He knows that if mom makes that error, he will be out with his arms free in under 2 minutes. He always hopes anyway though.)
Step 3: Wrap one side of the blanket snuggly around baby. Make sure you don't leave a big lump of folded blankets under his back. Roll him on his side and make sure edge of blanket is all the way wrapped and the edge is resting flatly under other side. (doesn't make sense? that is fine, because nobody's really using these directions anyway! )
Step 4: Roll baby back onto his back. Baby cannot sleep on his side.
(Thought bubble: "Um, Mom? What are we doing?")Step 5: Fold the bottom corner up over the feet. When they are newborn, feel free to bend the legs with this process. Doing so on an older baby will just tick them off and facilitate their escape sooner. (much more kicking leverage.)
(Notice picture is blurry...this is due to me using a wiggly, wide awake baby. This step and all future steps is best performed on a much sleepier baby.) =)Step 6: Wrap last corner over baby, keeping blanket free from the baby's face (it was the camera angle! I didn't swaddle his mouth!) Make sure again that there are no bumps or big folds under the baby. I have had many early wake-ups due to lumps behind the baby's back!
("Seriously Mommy, what are you doing?")
Step 7: Roll baby back to their back. (Do you think if I forgot this step someone would forget to roll them back? Probably not huh.?)
("Hey, wait a minute Mommy, I just woke up... Are you being serious?")If done correctly, you might actually be able to fool him into thinking he is actually still tired.
("Was I still sleeping? Maybe I am still tired.... yawn....)
("Dream on Mommy! I know that I just woke up!")
In the middle of the night, even if they are smiling like Small-Fry here, just turn off the lights and run for it. Baby will remember that they really are still sleepy and should go right back to sleep....knock on wood.
In the middle of the night, even if they are smiling like Small-Fry here, just turn off the lights and run for it. Baby will remember that they really are still sleepy and should go right back to sleep....knock on wood.
Don't get discourage at all the steps involved in swaddling. With practice you can reduce the time involved to mere moments. Again, if they are smiling at you, avoid eye contact!
There are a few signs that you have achieved the perfect swaddle. (at least on this kid) He will act sleepy. He will relax and just stare at you. He will get ticked because he knows he is not getting out of this one...this usually is followed by some good wiggling (kind of looks like an inch-worm) and then he will start to yell at you. If the kid could talk, he would be yelling, "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME...I'M AN AMERICAN!!!" You can usually just pick him up and burp him until he believes you that he is tired.
Now let's analyze some of the common mistakes. (pay attention honey.) =)
Mistake 1: You put the baby too high up on the blanket before starting the swaddle. This mistake can undermine even the best swaddling attempts, especially after baby knows a few tricks. 
("Mommy just fell for the classic blunder!")
Note optimistic look on baby's face. He knows this one will fail. You really have to perfect the whole hooking the blanket around the shoulders thing during your swaddles.
("Is this what you wanted me to show Mommy?)
Picture is blurry due to the amazing speed of this escape!
Next time you visit my house, you will know why it is messy. I tend to squander my spare time. However, I now have tons of cute pictures that I will treasure always. =)
There are a few signs that you have achieved the perfect swaddle. (at least on this kid) He will act sleepy. He will relax and just stare at you. He will get ticked because he knows he is not getting out of this one...this usually is followed by some good wiggling (kind of looks like an inch-worm) and then he will start to yell at you. If the kid could talk, he would be yelling, "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME...I'M AN AMERICAN!!!" You can usually just pick him up and burp him until he believes you that he is tired.
Now let's analyze some of the common mistakes. (pay attention honey.) =)
Mistake 1: You put the baby too high up on the blanket before starting the swaddle. This mistake can undermine even the best swaddling attempts, especially after baby knows a few tricks.
("Mommy just fell for the classic blunder!")Note optimistic look on baby's face. He knows this one will fail. You really have to perfect the whole hooking the blanket around the shoulders thing during your swaddles.
Result of not getting shoulders tucked in there:
("Is this what you wanted me to show Mommy?)Picture is blurry due to the amazing speed of this escape!
The naked shoulders get cold after this mistake too. If left untreated, this can result in the following:
Baby Smugness.
("Make it hard next time Mommy, that wasn't even a challenge!")
Baby Smugness.("Make it hard next time Mommy, that wasn't even a challenge!")
In RARE cases, you might get this lucky. Usually doesn't happen with younger babies though.
Pop Quiz time! See if you can diagnose the problem. =) (I just simply have way too many cute pictures!)
(Quit wiggling!!)
A properly swaddled baby is a happy baby!
(Quit wiggling!!)
A properly swaddled baby is a happy baby!
And a sleepy baby.
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