Politics make me CRAZY lately!!! I want to scream when listening to all the crack-pot ideas going on in today's government. I could rant and rave on here for awhile about having to pay for other's to make stupid financial decisions!
Before I get carried away though, I want to just present the solution with possibly one of my favorite clips ever! Have fun!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Facts of Tarantulas.
Dallin has been wanting to contribute to the blog for quite awhile. So since we are all sick and sitting around BORED out of our MINDS, I will serve as scribe while he waxes eloquent about his favorite subject.
2. Did you know that tarantulas have enemies? Tarantula Hawk Wasps. (we watched one today on YouTube. Very cool!)
3. In summer, male tarantulas hunt for their mate. If the female does not want to mate, she will eat him. Very dangerous!
4. People can have Goliath Bird Eaters for pets. They feed them birds and rodents. (mom's side note: there was also a video on YouTube with a tiny baby bird in there. I couldn't believe we were about to witness this and that Dallin was ok with it. However, that little bird just kept pecking that spider until the dang hairy thing left it alone.)
5. Spiders have fangs that point to each other. Tarantulas have fangs that point downward, like little daggers.
6. Tarantulas are the hairiest spiders, and the biggest arachnids.
7. Some tarantulas can shoot hairs from their abdomen to defend themselves.
8. Some species of tarantulas can rub parts of their jaws to make hissing sounds.
9. Tarantula Hawk Wasps look for tarantulas summer through fall. They use the spider to eat or lay their eggs on.
10. Goliath Spiders typically hunt at night. Most spiders spin webs. Tarantulas hunt.
I am going to go find something else to do. If you want spider advice from someone else, here you go. If you see a spider, kill it. If you see a Goliath Bird Eater Tarantula, run for your life. I don't care if people have them for pets...something that big and hairy with 8 legs is WRONG.
So without further ado....take it away Spider Man.
Common Tarantula
1. Goliath Bird Eater Tarantulas do in fact eat birds.2. Did you know that tarantulas have enemies? Tarantula Hawk Wasps. (we watched one today on YouTube. Very cool!)
3. In summer, male tarantulas hunt for their mate. If the female does not want to mate, she will eat him. Very dangerous!
4. People can have Goliath Bird Eaters for pets. They feed them birds and rodents. (mom's side note: there was also a video on YouTube with a tiny baby bird in there. I couldn't believe we were about to witness this and that Dallin was ok with it. However, that little bird just kept pecking that spider until the dang hairy thing left it alone.)
5. Spiders have fangs that point to each other. Tarantulas have fangs that point downward, like little daggers.
6. Tarantulas are the hairiest spiders, and the biggest arachnids.
7. Some tarantulas can shoot hairs from their abdomen to defend themselves.
8. Some species of tarantulas can rub parts of their jaws to make hissing sounds.
9. Tarantula Hawk Wasps look for tarantulas summer through fall. They use the spider to eat or lay their eggs on.
10. Goliath Spiders typically hunt at night. Most spiders spin webs. Tarantulas hunt.
Mexican Red-kneed Tarantula
The infamous Goliath Bird Eater Tarantula
Wow. There you have it. All the information you may need on tarantulas....you know...just in case you will be running into any soon. He has taken this assignment very seriously and carefully worded his facts to be as detailed, and useful as possible. So enjoy.
The infamous Goliath Bird Eater Tarantula
I am going to go find something else to do. If you want spider advice from someone else, here you go. If you see a spider, kill it. If you see a Goliath Bird Eater Tarantula, run for your life. I don't care if people have them for pets...something that big and hairy with 8 legs is WRONG.
Sick germs!!
My family has been all sick for the last 4 days...pretty much all of us! It has stunk bad! But I just got some doctor advice that I think should help things in the future. Thought I would share.
Sure going to take this advice if I ever start a different diet. =) Ok, except for the beer thing.
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will
not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to
live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the
fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that
way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is
two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are
fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're
permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any
misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and
well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO
HOO, What a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat,
here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's
a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer
fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots
of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and
that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will
not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to
live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What
does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field
grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you
100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy
is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the
fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that
way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is
two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of
participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My
philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are
fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're
permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a
little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it
gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a
bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another
vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain
whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any
misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and
well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO
HOO, What a Ride'
AND.....
For those of you who watch what you eat,
here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's
a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting
nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer
fewer heart attacks than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer
heart attacks than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and
suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots
of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than
Americans.
CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.
Sure going to take this advice if I ever start a different diet. =) Ok, except for the beer thing.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My life....
So how's this for irony? I have always LOVED Calvin and Hobbes comics. They just remind you of being a kid and that imagination that only kids seem to be capable of. I always have laughed at Calvin and pretty much thought he was the coolest kid ever.
Only now that I am a mom to 4 boys do I sympathize with the kid's poor mother! So the irony in this is that now I am her. It used to be funny (ok, it is still hilarious) but I am so not letting my boys read it for a long time! I don't want to give them any more ideas!!
Only now that I am a mom to 4 boys do I sympathize with the kid's poor mother! So the irony in this is that now I am her. It used to be funny (ok, it is still hilarious) but I am so not letting my boys read it for a long time! I don't want to give them any more ideas!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
So I was sitting on the couch with my laptop doing work. My oldest son was sitting nearby watching TV. He didn't know I was watching, but the kid took his shoe off, then his sock, stuck his foot to his nose and took a big whiff. He lets out with a very satisfied, "Oh yah, that's what I'm talking about! It's like boy perfume!!"
Those are the kind of things that no matter how many boys I have, I just won't get it!
Along those same lines, another smelly story. I teach young women's at church and we all walked into our class. The room just stunk! All the girls were all, "What is that smell?" Then someone figured it out, "Oh, right, this room is full of boys before we come in." The girls weren't quite convinced that boys could smell that bad. Us leaders assured them that it is possible. We told them that someday when they were married, even though they love their husband to pieces, they will be able to tell their pillow apart from their husband's just by smelling it.
It's true. You boys stink.
One more kid story...sorry, I really have nothing else to do. We were getting home from basketball practice for the oldest the other day. He was telling us how he really likes basketball practice, but the stretching is his least favorite part. "Why is that son?"
"I hate doing the splits! It hurts the tenders!"
WHAT?!
After seeing our reaction to the term, the 5-year-old pipes up, "It's true Dad, that hurts the tenders."
The story is way funnier too if you can imagine for a moment their dead-serious faces as they tell us of the problem.
I learned the next day that the term came from Kung Fu Panda. The little sponges picked that right up! (eye roll)
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